Don’t Forget Your Grandparents Are Dead!

Work colleagues came over for a little christmas party last night. The last group of folks left, laughing and chatting as they walked down our 53 steps to the road below. Mgazi and Zaffron were calling their goodbyes out our window.

Zaffy yelled, “Byeeee!”

Mgazi shouted, “Don’t forget your grandparents are dead!”

Of course, the coworkers that experienced this particular piece of advice being yelled down at them from heaven above fell silent for a few moments. Then they erupted in laughter and my friend Lisa said, “I think I just wet my pants.”

Zaffy called down to her in reassurance. “Don’t worry! It happens to me all the time!”

Glass of white wineRecommended wine: I don’t have one. Anything will do really. I was so out of ideas (we were drinking SoCo and lime at this party) that I googled “best wine for a funeral.” Guess what? There is a funeral home called Drinkwine Family Mortuary. I kid you not. And guess what else? There’s a place called Goodwine Funeral Homes in Flat Rock. I don’t know where that is. But I do know where Buffalo, NY is. That’s where I grew up. And there was a funeral home near us that was called Amigone Funeral Home and Cremation. I can’t make this stuff up.

Where is Super Nanny When You Need Her?

Mgazi is in bed. She’s been there for 30 minutes and she’s still not sleeping. 

Mgazi: Mommy!

I don’t answer.


Me: Yes, Gaz?
 (Damn! I did it again. I gave in. Super Nanny says you should never answer them when they are calling to you from bed.)

Mgazi: Can you come?

Me: No, I’ll check on you later. (What the heck, Kris. Stop answering her. Remember your Super Nanny!)

Mgazi: But Mommy, I’m going to forget what I’m saying!

Silence from the bedroom for about 20 minutes, then…

Mgazi: Mommy! …. MOMMY! …. Awww, I already forgot what I said!

More Complaints from Bed

The girls in our backyard on November 27, 2009

The girls in our backyard on November 27, 2009

Last night, after being put to bed, Zaffron started calling out to me from the bed. A total no-no in our house. Or at least that’s what Russell and I try to communicate. Our request that they not yell from bed is often ignored with glorious abandon by both of the children.

“Mom! MO-OM! I can’t sleep in the top bunk. I need to sleep with Lu in the bottom bunk.”

I don’t answer. It never pays to answer.

“MO-OM… I can’t sleep! Can I move to the bottom bu–u-unk?”

I resist the urge to yell back that there should be no yelling from bed.  I hear Zaffy take a deep breath, about to call out again, when Luyanda interrupts her with her very first imitation of me:

“No honey, not today.”

More Complaints from the Back Seat of the Car

Lulu at Moanalua Park on January 10th

Luyanda (Mgazi) at Moanalua Park on January 10th

On the drive home today Luyanda complained from the back seat, “Mommy, Zaffy hitting me!”

I knew this wasn’t accurate so I said, “No, Luyanda, Zaffy didn’t hit you.”

She tried again, in the same tattle-tell sing-song voice, “Mommy, Luyanda hitting me!”