Zombies vs. Birth Control

I am a mother. I am a wife. I am a professional. I have interests and hobbies. I work out sometimes. I cook at least once a week. Sorry, meant to say I cook at most once a week. But when I do, I cook multiple meals. And I don’t do white starches… bonus point!

I say all this to communicate the fact that I am a busy woman. I barely have time to floss my own teeth, but I do. Because it’s important. Unless I forget. Which I do. A lot.

Lately, I’ve been forgetting quite a few things — important things. Like packing the kids their lunches or my husband’s first name.

But last Friday was the kicker. I forgot to take my pill. You know the one. THE pill.

There are times when I could forget to take the pill every freakin’ day and it wouldn’t make a difference. There are other times, though, when it MATTERS VERY MUCH. This was one of those times.  I was in a semi-state of panic for 5 whole days.

And then I wasn’t.

I decided I needed some help.

Me: Hey you! Husband! Is it Russell? Yeah, Russell. I think you need to get snipped.

Russell: Okay.

Me: Really? You don’t mind.

Russell: Nope. I’m good.

Me: Wait. I’m serious here. You act like it’s no big deal. Like you don’t care one way or the other.

Russell: Of course, I care! This is a big decision. I mean, think about it. I am eliminating my ability to procreate and replenish the Earth should the need arise due to a zombie apocalypse.

Glass of white wineRecommended wine: If you or a loved one are planning on getting snipped, I suggest you give it serious consideration over a glass of wine. Try Zombie Zinfandel. It’s blood-red in color (of course) and horridly rich in concentrated fruit flavors with a finish that never dies!


4 insightful thoughts by 4 brilliant people

  1. Too funny! It’s a good thing my hubby got snipped because I wouldn’t have a hope of remembering to take The Pill every day. And there is no way we’re procreating any more, even in the event of a zombie apocalypse.

Whatchya thinkin stinkin?

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