Zaffy: Mom, you owe me 25 cents.
Me: What for?
Zaffy: You used the kids’ bathroom.
Me: You’re charging me for using your bathroom?
Zaffy: Yes! You said this was the kids’ bathroom when we moved here and you are not a kid. Plus, you owe me another quarter.
Me: What? For What?
Zaffy: You didn’t flush.
Me: Zaffron, first, I didn’t use your bathroom. Second, if I had I certainly would have flushed.
Zaffy: Mom, it had to be you. It wasn’t me and Mgazi pinky-promises it wasn’t her. You’re all that’s left. But don’t feel bad, sometimes I have to pay myself a quarter too.
Later that day, in the car:
Zaffy: So, when am I getting my 50 cents?
Me: Zaffy, how about you owe me a quarter for being annoying?
Zaffy: Mom, the rules are the rules, even if you don’t like them.
Me: Well, I’m not going to pay.
Zaffy: Then I’ll just have to charge you another quarter.
Me: Are you kidding me?
Zaffy: No. If you don’t pay me my 50 cents in five weeks, I’m going to charge you another quarter.
Mgazi: Zaffy, you mean five days.
Zaffy: No, I mean five weeks.
Mgazi: Mommy, Zaffy doesn’t know what she’s talking about. She means she wants the money in five days, not five weeks.
Zaffy: I know exactly what I’m talking about. Mommy, just pay me and everything will be fine.