Bladder Betrayal

The kids were invited to a birthday party. I hate going to kid’s birthday parties. I hate my own kids’ birthday parties. But it was at a gym and I decided that I would squish my desire to grumble and try my best to have a good time right along with them.

We were running late, of course, but last minute I ran back into the house and grabbed a sports bra. These days I need one if I drive over a speed bump. I figured it would be a necessity if I decided to hop on a trampoline with the children.

Sure enough, when we arrived, laughing, giggling, screeching children were climbing up rope ladders, tumbling down foam slides and jumping on the trampoline. I told the girls to run ahead while I took off my shoes and socks.

As the children darted toward the trampoline, they passed some other kid’s mother. She was heading towards me. She was smiling and happy. She wiped the sweat off her brow and said, “Wow, that was fun!”

“The trampoline?” I asked.

“Yeah, I wish I could have jumped for longer.”

“Why didn’t you?” She looked fit and strong, definitely younger than me.

“It was that last bounce,” she said. “My feet hit the mesh and my body propelled upwards and I peed myself.”

I quietly put back on my socks.

Photo (which has nothing to do with the post) credit: ucumari / / CC BY-NC-ND

9 insightful thoughts by 9 brilliant people

  1. I had to check “mesh” and “to propel” to be honest, so the joke was ruined for me, but a 10 seconds later I was like “hahaha” and “yuck” at the same time! :)

  2. Bwaaahahaha! My five year old got a trampoline this spring & I just couldn’t wait for that low impact exercise that I had enjoyed so much as a kid! I jumped on it all of 5 minutes & felt like I could have starred in my own “depends” commercial! The only difference between me and your girlfriend, is that I wouldn’t have told anyone about it. Oh wait, I just did!

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